I officially fail at updating this blog during my first year of teaching. However, I think this year can speak for itself. It was a year of trial and error, joy and sorrow, and of course failure and success. I discovered a lot about people, relationships, teaching, and a lot about myself. With Sayre being such a small town, I unfortunately grew increasingly paranoid over the year. I could feel people staring at me as I would drive to the local Sonic to get a drink. I could not go to Dollar General to get groceries without seeing at least three of my students and their parents. I would drive by farmers and oil field workers who would give me the "one finger steering wheel wave." Although I knew they were being friendly, I was not accustomed to this "folksy" way of life. Needless to say I felt like an outsider and never truly fit into the community. My closest friends lived an hour away and my family lived two and a half hours away. I felt very alone.
I butted heads with parents and several of the high school students in the beginning. Feeling defeated, confused, and sometimes helpless, I carried on. I have always had a strong drive to not back down and a desire to never give up. My stubbornness and fear of failing are what carried me through that terrifying first semester of my first year of teaching. Because I did not have many people to rely on for guidance or help, I grew closer to God. After many nights of crying and praying, Christmas break had somehow finally arrived. It was so nice to spend time with my closest friends and family. I enjoyed kicking back, drinking a beer, and just taking in every second of freedom I had outside of school. Those two weeks flew by and it was time to face the second half of my year. Although I was scared, I was not quite as terrified as I was in August. After enduring a hellish first semester, I somehow mustered up the courage to press on with confidence.
The second semester flew by three times faster than I had anticipated. By spring break, my elementary and middle school students were laughing at my jokes, asking me questions, and their eyes would light up with curiosity when I was about to teach them a new note or rhythm. My band parents were coming together, holding meetings to organize and discuss details for our upcoming high school band trip. I was finally starting to feel supported and looked forward to walking into that band room each morning. After a few months of debating on which music to choose for the high school band to take to contest in the spring, I finally decided on the more challenging pieces. The students had never been challenged beyond a middle school music level and I wanted to challenge them as well as myself. It was a risk between receiving a "1" or a "2" at contest but I was willing to take the risk and so were my students. The high school students were finally starting to put their trust into me and I could not let them down.
Unfortunately, we did receive "2's" at contest. However, I do not regret challenging them and I would not trade anything for the teaching and learning that occurred during those three months of strenuous rehearsals. I could feel that I was finally beginning to earn their respect and we were finally bridging the gap that had separated us since the beginning of the year. After all, I was only five years older than most of these students and I knew it was going to take much longer to develop a trusting relationship with them. I sometimes wondered how I appeared on that podium to those students. Did I appear as a confident teacher or could they see right through me and see that awkward, scared, unexperienced, young girl? Regardless of what they thought or what they saw, I did know this; by the end of the year, I viewed a lot of those kids as if they were my own. They could bring out the worst in me but they also brought out the best in me. They showed me things about myself that had yet to be discovered during my college years. I grew not only as a teacher but as a person and as a musician. They say that our job as teachers is to mold our students so that they may be successful human beings in whatever they choose to pursue in their future. I believe my students in Sayre molded and taught me more.
At the end of the year, we went on our band trip to Sandy Lake and Six Flags in Arlington. Those three days were the best three days of the entire year. Of course we had fun eating out and riding the roller coasters but my absolute favorite parts of the trip were in the evenings when everyone was just hanging out. We kept all of the coolers and snacks in our room so that the students could get whatever snacks they wanted and head back to the pool or their room if they wanted. This did not happen. Instead, they would grab their snacks and hang out in my room! It started with just two or three students hanging out but by the last night of the trip, there were 10-15 students hanging out in my room because it was the cool, fun place to be! This brought so much joy to my heart. We spent those evenings telling stories and laughing. One night we had an OKC Thunder "watch party" and had hours of fun laughing and cheering on our team. I would not trade those moments for anything. I embraced each and every one of these moments knowing these would be some of the last times I spent with these kids for I had chosen to go back to school at Oklahoma City University to pursue my Master's degree in conducting.
Upon returning home from our trip, we still had our final spring concert to perform for the community. Our theme was "A Night at the Movies" and we performed selections from the most well-known movies. The kids played beautifully and I could not have been more proud. Right before the high school band performed their last selection, my assistant, mentor, and best friend Arlene Epp made a special presentation with my drum major. She gave a beautiful speech congratulating me and wishing me all of the best at graduate school. My drum major handed me a beautiful bouquet of flowers and gave me the warmest hug. Fighting back my tears, I looked out to the audience and felt a sudden overwhelming feeling. I had received a standing ovation. Every single parent, teacher, administrator, and community member was on their feet clapping. If that were not overwhelming enough, I turned my head and looked back on stage towards my students. All of them were standing, clapping, and looking at me with smiles of appreciation and gratitude. They were not clapping for that young, scared, awkward girl. They were clapping for their music teacher.
My last week in Sayre was bittersweet. It consisted mainly of organizing, cleaning, and packing. I had finally mastered the "one finger steering wheel wave" and now it was time to go. My family, brothers, and friends came to help me move once again and as I pulled out of Sayre for the last time, I looked in my review mirror at the place that I had called "home" for the past year. Although I may not miss much of the town itself, I will miss the people that helped me to grow and mature into a young adult. I will miss my students who showed me the true meaning of dedication, compassion, and enhanced my love for teaching music.
As I drove into Oklahoma City that same day and saw the tall buildings and all of the cars stuck in traffic, I strangely became even more excited for this new chapter of my life. Graduate school has always been one of my goals and dreams. This time a year ago, I had already started working in my band room and had not stopped until my last week in Sayre. I suppose that hard work is finally paying off because I have had one of the best summers anyone could ask for. As my mom always says, "Work hard and then play hard." My summer began with a trip to Lubbock to celebrate my sister's graduation with family and friends and we left for Las Vegas for vacation the very next week. I have had the opportunity to see Ben Folds and The Rocket Summer in concert once again and have been spending my free time clubbing, swimming, traveling, shopping, and seeing the latest movies. I also had the opportunity to teach at SWOSU's Middle School Band Camp a few weeks ago and will teach at High School Band Camp next week. It felt good to reunite with teachers, colleagues, and especially my students once again.
Life is so beautiful right now and I am so grateful to God for giving me these experiences and opportunities. I will embrace the moment.
Until next time,
Erin Taylor
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