A Meaningful Coincidence

One of my mentors recently shared a story with me. His dog was very old and sick and he decided it was time to put him down. It had been raining/pouring the entire day. He took his dog into the vet's office and said his goodbyes one last time. As he walked back to his car, it immediately stopped raining and the sun began to shine. He explained to me that it was "a meaningful coincidence."

I just finished another busy night at Fuzzy's Taco Shop and it is currently 1:35 AM. It is July 25th and I still don't have a teaching job for this year. Never in my life would I have thought I wouldn't be able to find a teaching job after graduate school. I left Sayre because I wanted to become a better teacher and conductor. I wanted to improve and expand my musical abilities so I would be prepared for a better job after I graduated. I've applied for 56 jobs and I've had 9 interviews and I don't think my spirit has ever felt as crushed as it does now. I find myself questioning a lot of life's "coincidences" lately. Has all of this been a waste of time and money? Am I even meant to teach? Why doesn't anyone want me? Will I find a better teaching job next year? Why is this happening when I have three degrees including a master's AND teaching experience? Everyone told me I wouldn't have any trouble finding a job and here I am on July 25th, and I am still unemployed.

I've been offered a management position at the new Fuzzy's that is opening in Edmond in two weeks. Miranda and I have a house picked out and we're just about ready to move. I just can't believe it. I feel like I have failed myself. I feel like I have failed my family, friends, and teachers. I was supposed to go out and get an amazing job in Texas with my master's degree and I failed. Everyone was supposed to be proud of me and instead, I'll continue to work at my fast food job for another year. All I need is one offer, and I promise I will be the best music teacher you've ever hired.

Is this supposed to be a meaningful coincidence? Is the job of my dreams out there waiting for me? I'm not sure. When I turned 16, I thought there would be a car in the driveway waiting for me to drive it to school. Instead, Mom continued to take me to school and I didn't get a car till my junior year of high school. I had to wait longer than I had planned, but that green Ford Focus is still my favorite car to this day. When I graduated from college, I thought someone was supposed to give me a graduate assistantship to one of the graduate schools I had applied to. Instead, I was denied to all four schools, but later accepted to one of the best music schools in the country for conducting. I don't like feeling I don't have any control over my life. I wanted to prove to everyone that I could be better. Not only did I fail at being better, but I regressed in my career. Maybe I'm not as good of a musician and/or teacher as I thought I was. All I've ever wanted to be since I was 6-years-old was a teacher. Is it possible this isn't the career for me? These series of events have me questioning my overall purpose in life.

I hope this is all just a meaningful coincidence. I hope someone will give me the chance to make a positive difference in the lives of students through my love and passion for music and teaching.

Till next time,
Erin Taylor